Nothing In The Attic

We have squirrels living in our attic. Lots of them. They run around on the ceilings day and night. Making squirrel sounds. They chewed a hole through the ceiling in the bathroom. They've been living up there for years. All the insulation up there is shredded. I can hear them chewing and scratching on the beams. They use the floor as a toilet just like my roommate does. Our landlord is aware but she doesn't care. She suggested I throw some mothballs up there, I did, it didn't help.

Bob is still working day shift at the pity job his friend gave him. He is still managing to stay up most of the night stumbling around the house intoxicated. He is hard at work here drinking, peeing and sitting on his ass as usual. My father suggested I put one of those roll up fire escape ladders on my window in case Bob sets the house on fire while I'm sleeping.

Pity Party at Your House

If any of you do-gooder bleeding hearts out there feel you should help Bob, it can possibly be arranged. At some point in the future, Bob will either need a new place to live or a new roommate. You can move in here at hell house or Bob could be moved into your home.

Please note: I will not be held liable for any psychological or emotional stress you may receive, nor will I be held liable for any damages to your home, personal property or bodily injury/death that may occur.

If you'd like to move in here, the rent is $1,200.00/month (the rent is due to be increased soon though). You would be splitting this with the space cadet, so your monthly amount is $600.00. You will have to put down 2 months rent when moving in. You would have to pay the entire electric bill each month. One perk is you will receive free natural gas service.

If you're kind enough to let Bob move into your home, just be aware he doesn't have any money for a security deposit. It would be very nice if you'd let him live rent-free at your home as he could lose his job at any time. Helping out others can be a joy in itself.