Monday, June 04, 2007

Recipes For Retards

So yesterday, after a long absence, the Brainless Gourmet made a comeback performance here at hell house. After a false start last weekend, he came back and proved he's still got it.

Last weeks' slab of meat went in the trash and Veggie went out on another grocery binge. F*ck all the lawsuits, it's cooking time. He got another slab of meat with all the fixins to fill the pot, then it was space-out time while the pot boiled away for hours. The meat is done when all the liquid has boiled off and just a tar-like substance remains at the bottom. He picked a few bites out of the pot then left it all on the stove for the flies and mold. I'll throw it away later this week. I'll post a pic of the leftovers if I get around to it. I left all the windows open yesterday so the smell isn't too bad.

Dinner is served, plenty left for all. This is 24 hours later. The pot was originally filled to the rim with canned tomatos and broth. When you cook it at a rapid boil for 5 hours, it ends up as paste. That's how you cook meat in space. The meat won't be going anywhere until I throw it out.

This was Veggies' last cooking fiasco. The pan's been sitting there for months, don't remember what was burned in it. I do remember throwing out the mound of mold covered food in it though. Might be able to clean it with one of those Dremel tool things.


Mentally Divergent said...

That's unbelievable. How do you tolerate the smell? He'll probably end up burning the house down some day doing this.

I have to say your blog is the most fascinating and entertaining blog I've read. It's hilarious and disturbing at the same time. I can't wait to read what happens next.


endofmyrope said...

When the cooking's done, the urine and rotting food stench pretty much dominates. My 16 year old German Shepherd don't smell too great either sometimes.

Anyone who really enjoys reading this is okay with me. Depravity is great entertainment, especially when it's someone else.


BrightCrayon said...

Speaking of enjoying this blog- a friend of mine stumbled upon it and sent me the link.

We actually have a friend whose name is Bob, his room is never ever this bad, but she laughed when she saw that while he never has money for anything.. he always ALWAYS has money for booze. Even if it's an $8 1/5th of something.. anything.

In any case, I started reading this at work, and nearly missed my conference call.. so minus the fact that I realize my summer house mates have nothing on this guy.. I am incredibly entertained.

I'm sorry to hear about your nose "issue". I hope by now it's been fixed one way or another.