Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Wagon Left Long Ago

Now Bob is working the evening shift at his friends plastic business. The hours are perfect for Coma Boy....4pm-12am. He can come home after midnight, stay up drinking and urinating all night, then sleep all day. Bob must be in heaven! I've considered sleeping outside in my car but it's getting cold here now.

Our landlord called me today asking about Bob. He hasn't paid anything since I last reported. He's been working for 2 weeks now plus he raked in $600.00 by begging for money on his blog. She's never gonna throw him out so I really don't care if she gets paid or not anymore.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Lost In Space

Saturday Bob slept til 3pm. He spaced out in the bathroom til 4 then went out for a 30 pack. That was the extent of his physical activity for the day. Last night was another long night of drinking, peeing and ass sitting for Bob. Our elderly neighbor is mowing his lawn today so Bob must be having a tough time sleeping today...or maybe he doesn't notice the noise.

Friday, October 20, 2006

The Toilet Serenade

It's now past midnight here. Coma Boy is halfway into his night's beer supply. I shall now go to sleep to the serenade of toilet flushing and the smell of stale urine wafting into my room.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Internet Panhandling For Dummies

Coma Boy has apparently raked in some serious bucks begging for money on his blog. He's paid the landlord a couple hundred towards his back rent...she's not throwing him out now. He is like a cancer growth that can't be removed. Most of the donations will be used to support Coma Boy's alcohol addiction and continued downward spiral into mental illness. My sincere thanks to all you dumbass losers who donated. This guy needs more alcohol, so please consider giving more.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Lifestyles Of The Mentally ILL Part 3

Here's a pic of our stovetop. Anyone hungry? I haven't been able to use the stove for some time as that would involve spending an hour degreasing everything. Oh, and don't stand too close to the stove or your shirt will stick to it.

Here's an example of Bob's -flash & burn- cooking method. You need a chisel to clean it. This is everyday living here.

Pots and pans are cleaned on a 'as needed' basis....and of course there's no room left in the sink for them. If I leave any clean pots or dishes laying around , he'll use mine instead of cleaning his I no longer clean mine, what's the point?

No Sleep = No Money

Well, Coma Boy is now back to his old routine with his new "job". This is the same routine which caused him to be fired from his old job. He was up drinking beer all night last night. I heard him crash into the floor last night at 3:30am, he got up at 8am to go to work. He'll sleep for a few hours when he gets home, then it will be another long night of drinking and peeing. He must do great work on 4 hours of drunken sleep.

I've recently learned that Coma Boy has a blog somewhere. I guess this is what he does while sitting on his ass 24 hrs/day. He is now begging for money on his blog....internet panhandling, if you will....and yes, people are actually sending this scumbag money. He made up some sob story about how he can't find a job and needs money or he'll be homeless soon.....well, it's partially true I guess. You losers out there who read blogs really need to be cautious about who you're dealing with over the internet. For some people, the internet is their fantasy world....their reality can be appalling.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Tag Sale In Hell

Back to the subject of my landlord. She lives next door to us. Just like Bob, she has some motivation issues. She had a tag sale in her driveway in the spring of 2005. All the large furniture that didn't sell was left in her driveway and it's still sitting there as of today. It was a large antique victorian couch, an antique oak table sewing machine, a coffee table and a non-working lawn mower.

I'm a full time antiques dealer. I told her what prices to ask for her stuff before the sale. She thought I was too low of course. The couch was a real ornate one with a nice carved frame with birds, just needed new upholstery. It was worth $200-300 easily as-is, the sewing machine was worth $75-100, the coffee table was 70s junk. I told her to ask for less than those values at the tag sale if she really wants them to sell. She got many offers on the couch and sewing machine but turned them all down. After the sale they were left in the driveway, out in the elements to this day.

The couch is now totally collapsed, wood is all split and covered with mold, the oak top to the sewing machine eventually fell apart and someone took the base, I don't think she cared. Our neighbor has been complaining to the city about her trash pile for the last 6 months.

Our city has a blight law which took effect about a year ago and the city deemed both her houses as blighted. She's been getting letters and phone calls from the city all summer to remove all the trash and paint both her houses. She just ignores it all. Last Friday, she had a large notice from the city tacked to her front door, says she has 24 hours to remove all the trash or she will be fined $100/day. 4 days later, the trash is still there. Nothing ever changes here at hell house.

Cooking In Outer Space

Sunday night drunken zombie Bob cooked a big bacon and egg breakfast at 12am..... Monday morning I scraped the bacon grease off the floors and walls. I found large clumps of butter thrown all over the counter. My dog probably ate whatever fell on the floor.

Tonight Bob came home from work at 7pm with bags of food and a 30 pack. Maybe he'll pay the rent or utilities next week. He turned the oven on and went upstairs and spaced out. The oven had a baking dish half full of lard from his last meal still in there. After a half hour the house was filled with smoke again. I had to pound on his door til he came out and took the dish out. I opened the doors and windows while Bob went back to ass sitting with a couple cold ones. He's got a lot of beer to drink before daybreak.

Hire The Handicaped

Coma Boy now has a job....sort of. One of Bob's old friends from high school took pity on his lazy ass and gave him a temporary job at his small plastics business. This will keep him stocked up on 30 packs and food while he squats here at my house. He still is 2 months behind in the rent. Our landlord still hasn't taken any action. Bob just keeps telling her he'll "have some money next week", she keeps buying it.

I should probably refer to my landlord as a 'landlady' but I think that sounds dumb. Our landlord is a subject for another post. She's almost as much of a dysfunctional moron as Bob.....not quite in Bob's league though.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

What, Me Worry?

Today Bob sat on his ass all day doing nothing. He cried on the phone to one of his friends that he needs gas money to get to job interviews. His friend brought the money over...Bob went right out and bought a 12 pack and some food to burn later...I guess those interviews can wait! In Bob's world there's no worries.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

20 Million Miles From Earth

Today Bob returned enough of his old beer cans to buy a 12 pack. This is the most work he's done in 7 months. The remainder of his day was spent sitting on his ass. For dinner he cooked some sausages. He left them frying unattended while he spaced out in his room......half hour later the whole house was filled with smoke. Bob finally came down and threw the sausages in the trash. I opened the doors and turned on a fan while Bob went back to sitting on his ass. This is pretty much routine around here, nothing unusual.

I spoke with our landlord today. She wants to know if Bob is looking for a job, he's 2 months behind in the rent now. I told her he's still sitting on his ass in his room all day doing nothing. She says she's going to throw him out next week if he doesn't pay something. We shall see. Bob is still unconcerned about anything except being able to spend another day sitting on his ass.

Rust Never Sleeps

Bob used to drive an old rust-bucket Chevy Blazer for years that someone gave him (scary thought, I know...but yes he drives). It had no muffler, the exhaust pipe was rusted off at the engine. It took him 20 minutes to start it every morning, when he was working. He would crank it for several minutes til it fired, then he had to floor the gas for 20 minutes til the engine would stay running on it's own. If any of the neighbors wanted to sleep late that day, too bad. He drove it like this for years. You could hear him coming from a half mile away.

The radiator was leaking on it for a while. He would just carry antifreeze with him and refill it at every stop instead of fixing it. His car would have a stream of antifreeze coming out when it was parked here. This went on for a couple months until one of our neighbors complained about it. She was worried about her cat drinking it and croaking. He eventually fixed it.

When that car finally died, he just left it in the street here until the city towed it away. He now drives an old rust-bucket Chevette that someone gave him. It also has no muffler and I don't think he'll be buying one anytime soon.

New Lifestyles Of The Mentally ILL

Bob sat on his ass all evening in his room, didn't come out all night. He doesn't seem to be drinking. Even when he's sober he still sits on his ass spaced out. Bob did an estimated 15 hours of solid ass sitting in his chair today. He spent about 1 hour total of standing upright all day. His routine lately is going to bed around 4am and rising around noon to sit on his ass all day doing nothing. I know when he's still up because I hear his chair clunk once in a while. The light in his room is always on all night. Sometimes Bob has sneezing fits at 2 or 3 in the morning, probably from all the mold and dirt in his hovel. The sneezing fits last 10 or 15 minutes.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Ass Sitting

Today Bob sat on his ass all day in his room. He must not have any money cause there's still no beer in our fridge. I left my rent on the landlord's door today. I haven't talked to her for a few days. Bob cooked a frozen dinner in the oven, this took 3 hours, then it was back to more ass sitting.

Alcohol Builds Healthy Immune System

Bob has a stick of butter sitting on the counter. It's been sitting there for over a week now, the wrapper isn't even closed on it. He is still using it daily.

One thing I've noticed with heavy drinkers (I've known a few) is they never get sick. They never get colds, never get the flu, not even the sniffles. Does all the alcohol in their system kill the germs? I don't know.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Boiling Water In Hell

Today Bob left the house for a while to get money from his family. He did quite a bit of cooking today as there's no beer to drink. You can't buy beer here on Sunday. He cooked some pasta tonight, it took 2 hours....He spaced out in his room while the water boiled for 1 1/2 hours, then he added the pasta.